I felt passionate about my infantile experiences with writing and publishing but it came with a fast start and came to a screeching halt after only a few months. I super enjoyed (incorrect language?) the learning process of creating a word press blog site because I felt I was challenging my brain to think “hard” after completing chemotherapy treatment. My fellow pink sisters and all other chemo survivors will understand when I talk about chemo brain. After I completed my online course with Heather and Pete Reece, I felt confident enough to move forward in writing, publishing and finding my purpose.
Opportunities
It also provided me the opportunity to talk with my dad about the family stories and to get those recorded before it was to late. You see, he had been ill for a long time and in Jan 2017 ( I had just finished all my breast cancer treatments middle of Dec 2016) he brought us kids together in the St. Louis Park house and shared with us that he is going into hospice. He did not know how much time he had with us but he thought it would be in the summer.
Our family pulled together and we were able to help the folks downsize, sell the family home, and move them to their second home in Benson. We wanted the remainder of his life to be as comfortable and peaceful as possible. Yes, we had our melt down days but together we are strong. Dad would always say we are Ellingsons and we are strong.
Dads purpose
It was this time from that move to his death (07-11-2018) that I was able to stop in and visit. Previously, he lived 3 hours away. Marlin,my dad, would sit up in his recliner in his “tv” room or sit at the little kitchen table. He would love to share his stories even though it was difficult for him to express himself because of his lung difficulty. Dad always expressed his concern for my family and I could always see it in his eyes. My dad always had a sparkle in his eye or a heartfelt tear. I always felt his purpose was to make sure his family was taken care and that we knew how much he loved us all.
It was a precious time for me just to be with him in those story telling hours and I will always miss him but I know that he is in a better place. July 11 will be a painful day for me but it will also be a blessed day, my first son’s birthday. How can a single soul feel so much pain but yet grateful? We are fearfully and wonderfully made! I was emotionally and physically exhausted. With the breast cancer in 2016 and my oldest son’s 14400 volt electrical lineman accident, my dads illness, a huge career change, and running a farm business, I felt spent. I could not put pen to paper to write without crying my eyes out.
Healing
Here we are in the middle of winter. I just recently started to try to scrapbook again and have made very little progress. While working on the year 2000, the memories just flood back. I started to journal the photos a few sentences here and there and you know what? It felt kinda good! Dad was talking to me and telling me I need to finish the story. It may not be his but it will be my story to my children, grandchildren and the future.
I kept going back to my original goals I made to myself when I started my cancer journey. In five years I wanted to have my scrapbooks done for the kids. Something just kept nagging at me though. What is my life purpose? Do I have a passion in life?
Your passion and purpose
What is your passion and life purpose? I am not a life coach or have experience in teaching this subject and this is not a how to find your passion blog. It is a conversation starter with those you love.
So just like everyone else in this world, I googled. As we know, information is abundant and so are videos.
I came across an YouTube video Finding your purpose-passion by The journey of Purpose TJOP. Wow. I did not see that coming. What a moment!
The main take away was this Your life will be better by making someone else’s life better! This was so my Dad!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mLn99CQubI
Another source by Charisma on Command states this:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmiBcHJpKR0
- What makes you lose track of time in yourself
- Do you spend money on your passion?
- What area do you feel judgement
- What makes your heart race?
As I move forward in my life, I still have my yearly goals, but my passion/purpose will be to make someone else’s life better! Maybe I will use Kraig and granddaughters’ photo to one day show her we were passionate about being grandparents.
What will you do? We would love to hear your passionate/purpose stories!
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story! I think about this a lot.. wondering what my purpose is. I like the thought that it’s to help someone else! I think maybe that is why God gives us the life experiences.. why He allows the hard times.. so that we can help others when they go through the same.
I agree with you on our life experiences and using them to help others. As we journey in this life, it is good to sometimes stop and reflect and make sure our activities are consistent of what our purpose is. Peace.
I feel ya. Right now I’m dealing with the soon to be passing of my grandmother. She half raised me and always called me her little girl. Though I’m no longer that young anymore, she still viewed me as that little girl. Especially the further she got into dementia. It’s a sad thing seeing someone you love struggle, but saying goodbye is less painful.
I always enjoyed hearing her stories from decades ago and how life was. I hope to one day write them out so they live on.
I am so sorry to hear about your grandma. I learned alot from my dad in his last year. He shared alot of his upbringing with me and the circumstances his family had endured during the 1950-1960 were tough! I hope that you will be able to share with your children when that time comes. Peace!
What a beautiful post. I am so lucky that I know what my purpose and passion are. It took a few trials and set backs but I’m a happier person for it.
It is a journey as sometimes circumstances change just when we had it all figured out. Thank you for your kind words!